Sometimes, in derby, conflict happens. This can be between players, between teams, between skaters and refs. Conflict is hard. I am not a fan. I don’t like to manage people, I don’t want to fight. I mean, I am Irish, so I kinda do but I know that it’s not really productive. I like it when everyone does what they need to do and they come to events at their scheduled time or they complete the committee work they were asked to with no additional nudging from me. But alas, this is not the role of a board member. This gal, sometimes has to be the bad guy and that sucks. I am the kind of person who likes to focus on the positive, feel like I have a role in being the change I want to see in others.
So, instead of writing a bunch of crap about how much derby drama sucks, I am going to write a top 10 list. Here are my Top 10 derby moments:
10. That time when my cousin, Smashrodite, joined the league. We have been good friends for most of our lives despite a 10 year age gap. I love the shit outta her and I am SO. FLIPPING. GLAD. that she a) joined derby and b) joined my league. I love having a good friend that is learning how to speak my fave language in the family. No more will I sit awkwardly by myself at family events talking about the weather or whatever. NOW we’re a team!
9. That time I did more than just turn left. It took me a while to feel like I was doing anything at all when I was skating. I still have scrimmages and even games where I am pretty sure the only productive thing I did was turn left and stay with the pack. But I can still remember the first time I did something. It was a scrimmage and I was skating with Battle E. Portman and she is a great communicator and I just… did stuff. It was AWESOME!
8. That time I played with Unchained Malady. Mal is a friend from life. She had wanted to join derby, but didn’t want to step on my toes and as soon as she figured out that I would be STOKED to have her in my league, she was all up on that shizz. We’ve never looked back. I have loved having her there. She is my rock. She has gotten me through, what I consider to be, some if my toughest times with derbs and is one of the main reasons I am still skating. First time we scrimmaged together and I screamed my face off for her when she jammed, I teared up. No joke.
7. That time I got my first jersey. Someone once laughed at me for feeling great about this moment, but I don’t care. It meant a lot to me. It still means a lot to me. I wear it to the gyno and the dentist and all the places I don’t really want to be because it makes me feel powerful. In a good way. Not like an “I will rain lightning down from the sky!” type of way. Just a general, good, confident, strong woman way.
6. That time that I realized I could skate through the pain. There was a dark moment in my life almost 2 years ago. My grandfather and my uncle passed away in the same month and I went to practice and told Double Destruction (our new recruit trainer at the time) “I want to hate you more than my life tonight. Can we do that?” and she obliged. As I geared down, I realized that I had been too busy to be sad and my grief had lifted for two amazing hours. I knew I could and would be a skater in that moment.
5. That time at my first derby strategic planning retreat when Mudgie talked to me by the fire. There I was, being all awkward and not knowing anyone and she talked with me. She was the first veteran outside of my trainer who made me feel welcome. I will always love her for that kindness. Well, that and many others since then.
4. That time at handbilling last night when Suzy hugged me and Battle E. had just the right words. I’ve been struggling lately and it was what I needed. It made me feel happy ALL DAMN DAY today. Thanks ladies!
3. That time I bouted for the first time. It was Black and Blue Ball. I had a kick-ass dress. My family made matching “Mollytov” shirts and pretty much everyone in turn three screamed their faces off for me. L.A.’s Finest it me into the booty zone, and I won “Best Dressed.” I still have the sash. AND Team Black won the bout!
2. That time I learned how to give myself a break and didn’t cry after jamming. I don’t jam often, but I am working on this. I have still had practices where I didn’t live up to my promise to jam at least once, each 1/2 of each scrimmage. I try though. Sometimes, I just don’t have the lady-balls. There was this one time, and it was this season, where I jammed, and I didn’t cry after. It wasn’t that bad!
1. That one time that that I proposed to my derby wives. They’re no longer with my league, but I miss them all the time. Femme and Mome are some of the best people I have known. Also, they’ve both changed their names, but they’ll always be my wives, no matter when they’re called. They’re an inspiration for me still. I don’t care that they’re skating with other leagues, I love them all the loves!!